1. Do not date a boy who does not care what your favourite song is. The boy who does not care what melodies ignite your heart strings with love and wonder while staring at passing street lights on the last train home, will not care if it’s 2 a.m. and your heart is breaking.
2. Do not let anyone fold you up like last winters tattered scarf and put you away with the others in a neatly labeled box. Even when there’s thunder and the sky is crying, you are your mum’s favourite summer dress. You are to wear yourself like you believe it.
3. We are all stories. Write yours how you want. Make today’s chapter about purposely taking the wrong bus and discovering a tiny blue tea shop, or folding origami paper hearts over and over on your window sill. Just make sure it’s something you’d enjoy reading.
4. I will always try to save you.
5. Someday you will be 19 and lost and heartbroken and you will think about a place you’ve seen on TV or heard or read about in a book or seen a picture of. You will feel your heart drop into your stomach. Go there. For a day, a month, forever, but it’s important that you go.
6. The world is so beautiful. Do not let the slumped over homeless man outside the convenience store or the stories of guns and bombs on the television let you believe otherwise. We are all so lost. All of us. We all show it in different ways. I write bad poems. Others start wars. There is no inherent evil, only good people searching too hard.
7. I love everything about you.
8. Money turns people into liars and emotional ghosts. School grades are an inaccurate representation of you. Measure your life’s worth in how many times you’ve nearly lost your life to laughter, how many books you’ve closed with happy tears in your eyes, people whose lives you’ve brought joy to, marshmallows eaten, or countries visited.
9. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to stop crying. Cry if you want to. It’s okay. You’re allowed.
10. My best friend once told me that the most important decision he had ever made was to love everyone and everything. He’s the only person I’ve ever known to have a viewable aura of light around him. Don’t forget to love this world, to love people. Be light. You are already mine.
- DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
- Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
- DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
- Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
- DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
- Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
- DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
- Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
- DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
- Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
- DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
- Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS SWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
- DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
- Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
- DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
- Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
- DC: Wait-
- Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
- DC: I didn't-
- Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
- Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
- Marvel: PEACE
IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL RIGHT NOW I ADVISE YOU TO DO YOUR BEST SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT HIGH SCHOOL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN AND I DIDN’T DO SHIT AND NOW MY C’S ON MY FRESHMAN REPORT CARDS ARE KILLING ME IN MY COLLEGE APPS AND I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME TO DO BETTER SO PLEASE LISTEN TO ME IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN GOOD GRADES ARE COOL
Things I DO NOT want:
- Another pretty face
- Just anyone to hold
- My love to go to waste
Things I DO want:
- Your beautiful soul
17% of cardiac surgeons are women, 17% of tenured professors are women. It just goes on and on. And isn’t that strange that that’s also the percentage of women in crowd scenes in movies? What if we’re actually training people to see that ratio as normal so that when you’re an adult, you don’t notice?
…We just heard a fascinating and disturbing study where they looked at the ratio of men and women in groups. And they found that if there’s 17% women, the men in the group think it’s 50-50. And if there’s 33% women, the men perceive that as there being more women in the room than men.
But seriously do you ever think that all those who died in the battle of Hogwarts probably went on the chocolate frogs’ cards . And Teddy opening one before going on the train to Hogwarts and seeing his parents smiling at him, so they were actually there to see him off on his first year.